Bear Spray and Bad Toes

About an hour and a half into my hike today my left toes started to hurt.

At first it was just a ping of pain, but before long I was limping badly and had to make the strategic decision to find my way down the mountain to the highway and try hobbling my way up the highway back to the trailhead where my car was parked several miles up the road. That way, if I got to the point where I could not walk at all, at least I could flag down a car and hitch a ride.

As I hobbled along the famous scenic byway (Hwy 101), looking like a vagabond, I took in the endless expanse of blue and white. The sun was shining so bright in the azure sky, and it felt so good on my face.

The roar of the waves beside me was almost deafening. I imagined I was Bill Bryson on the Appalachian Trail – or Reese Witherspoon in the movie Wild – walking alone from Mexico to Canada. I always find these sorts of stories inspiring, and I have often contemplated walking the Camino del Santiago.

But it is days like this that hold me back.

I worry I will get halfway between two villages in remote Portugal only to have my chronic tendonitis flare up and leave me stranded alone in the wilderness. But the truth is, the Camino is full of people just like me, and you are never alone.

It is kind of like my life: I am by myself most of the time, but not really alone. All around me are people, friends, customers, children, and even strangers. I am not lonely. Alone does not need to be a negative. Alone is not a disability. 

Alone is liberating. 

I am strong and smart and can figure out whatever it is I need to figure out. I may not always be able to run, but I can hobble.

I belong to a Facebook group called SOLO Women Travellers Over 50. There are over 12,000 members. Some are seasoned travellers like me, others are there just reading others’ stories, trying to get the courage to see the world on their own.

I wonder why so many women are afraid to travel alone? Men travel alone all the time. Why are women willing to believe that they are somehow less capable than men? Why do women relinquish their autonomy, deny their strength, and doubt their capacity? 

Who convinced them they couldn’t do it?

Oh yeah, I remember, society convinced them. Despite it being 2023, our society continues to treat women like they are less than men. In relationships it is a fact that women do most of the housework and most of the childcare, despite women working the same number of hours outside of the home as their husbands. And in the workplace, women are paid less than men for the same job. 

Frankly, it makes me sick. As Beale said in the iconic 1976 film, Network, "I am mad as hell, and I am not going to take this anymore!" 

If we women don't believe we are equal, how will we ever convince men we are equal (and yeah, yeah, I get that my upper body strength is less than a man's and I don't have a penis).

So, if you are afraid to travel alone – believe me when I say travelling alone is AMAZING!

When I travel alone, I can wake up when I want to, eat when I want to, and go where I want to. I stay somewhere as long as I want to, leave after 2 minutes if I want to, or never leave the hotel if I want to. I can go to bed at 6pm if I want to, wake up at 3 am if I want to, snore, bathe, and poop when I want to. I don’t have to wait for anyone, don’t have to share the bathroom, and don’t have to negotiate the day’s agenda. And best of all I don’t have to let other people’s fears limit what I do.

Someone recently asked me, aren’t you afraid to hike alone? And the answer is yes. I think about bears a lot. I carry a bear horn, and bear spray and I sing a lot on the trails. But I do not let my fear stop me – because the truth is, human-bear incidents are rare in Oregon. Black bear populations number between 25,000 to 30,000 statewide but there have only been five reported incidents in the state since 1988, none of them fatal, so, it is kind of dumb to worry about bears. I have a better chance of dying on the highway driving to the trailhead.

That’s the thing about fear: it is not always rational. And you can choose to let your irrational brain keep you from enjoying life to the fullest, or you can set aside your fear, and live!

That is not to say I am careless. I do research, I plan, and I am prepared. I always text someone back home where I am going each morning. I carry a pack with water and food in case I get lost. I take a photo of the trail map with me in case I lose internet service (which is all the time on the Oregon coast), and I know where the tsunami evacuation routes are. And when I am travelling alone, I do not go out at night. 

Lots of people do go out at night, and that is their choice of course, but I generally prefer to stay home, cook a nice meal, enjoy a glass of wine, and binge watch Grey’s Anatomy.

Yesterday I watched 10 episodes. Yup, ten! From 3 pm when I got home from hiking, until midnight… and that is something that would NEVER HAPPEN if I were not travelling alone!

Hmmm, it is possible my irrational brain was in control yesterday…