Old is not a Bad Word

Today after pickle ball my husband gently suggested I should be careful when I make reference to “old people.” I had been talking to someone older than me about how many old people there were in my town of Oliver. Stephane was afraid I might have offended her. That got me to thinking, why is referencing someone’s seniority impolite? Cultures around the world celebrate their old and venerate their elders, and yet we Canadians and Americans are made to feel rude because we say someone is “old.” Old is not a bad word.

What is it about our culture that compels us to say, “Old is a state of mind,” as though there is something wrong with physical aging? Why can’t people be old – and why can’t people talk about people getting old? It is that very attitude that perpetuates the taboo of “old.” Old is not a bad word.

When will we begin to celebrate old, respect old, and appreciate old? When will it be a compliment to say to someone, “you are so much older than I am?” When we were young, and we said to someone, “you are so much older than I am” it was received as a compliment. At what age does it become a criticism? Old is not a bad word.

The problem is that our culture celebrates work ethic and independence – something that diminishes as we age. This causes us to struggle with feelings of guilt for getting old. Instead of celebrating that in retirement we finally have time to nap when we feel tired, we slug back another cappuccino and head out for another round of pickle ball. Once we just cannot keep up - because our arthritis is too bad, or our heart is not 100%, we feel bad about ourselves because we cannot "do" things anymore. Our culture does not value “being.” Especially being old.

Old is good, old is beautiful, and aging gracefully is not a competition. It is not about how few wrinkles you have or how fit you are. Ageing gracefully is about accepting that is “OK” to get old. Aging gracefully is coming to see that “old” is not a bad word.

Finding the Perfect Fit

If you know me, you know I love change. When I first decided to “go south” for the winters, it was my intent to go somewhere new every year. Last year I was in Zihuatenejo, this year Bucerias. Next year was to be Playa del Carmen. Going back to the same place every year seemed kind of boring to me. However, after this winter, we had a change of heart, and have changed our plan, because there is something to be said for finding the perfect place to just stay put.

Here at Los Arroyos Verdes, in Bucerias, there is a true sense of community. There are 34 residences here spread out amongst beautiful gardens.

Some are two story houses, some are lofts, some are small apartments, and some are standalone units with private yards.
There are even a couple of Airstream trailers. All units are in small clusters that encourage interaction, and the clusters surround a huge central pool and lounge area.

Most units are rented by Americans and Canadians on a 6 month basis although there are a growing number of people now living here full time. The residences are spread throughout this gorgeous botanical garden on the outskirts of Bucerias, and the Mexican woman who designed the development is as much a part of this community as anyone. Her home is in the centre of the community. Every Monday night everyone gathers to play Mexican trains. Once a month we have a pot luck supper. Every Sunday there is live music, and three times a week we play pickle ball. Not everyone does every activity, but we are all a part of this community. Last night we went to a social gathering around the pool to celebrate someone’s 89th birthday. He has been coming here for many years, and when he gave his speech, he said “coming here each winter feels like coming home to family.”

Stephane and I decided that instead of going home to Canada this summer, and then going somewhere else next winter, we would take two years to travel. Our journey will take us to several places we want to “try on.” We want to find our forever place. The place where we will celebrate our 89th birthdays and tell everyone we are grateful to be "coming home" each winter. We may have already found it here – but we want to be certain.

We love the west coast of Mexico for its beauty: the Sierra Madre mountains meet the Pacific Ocean in such a dramatic way; the lushness of the jungle and the fact that you can get easy, cheap direct flights here from Canada are all real pluses. But we are also intrigued by the east coast of Mexico – where we are headed in just over a week.

On the east coast we will look at real estate for sale and rent in Cancun, Progreso, Puerto Morales, and Playa del Carmen. But more important than walking the white limestone sand beaches and enjoying the warm crystal clear turquoise waters, we will take some time to experience the community, join the local pickle ball club and find some expats to mingle with, because where we decide to ultimately land permanently will depend a great deal on the people. We have learned that community is a big part of what makes us happy. Having friends to talk to, to play with, and to debate with is all a big part of what gives us pleasure.

Just as I felt sad to leave behind our community in Oliver, BC, I feel a little sad to think we will soon be leaving all our new friends here. But I look forward to meeting new people, and trying on new communities to find the perfect fit.

In Search of the Perfect Beach

What makes the perfect beach? The short answer is – it depends. Some people like a beach with waves for boogie boarding; others want soft white sand and calm water. Some look forward to lots of people, music and people watching, others prefer solitude. For me – I want it all! All in one beach that is.

Puerto Vallarta is not generally known for its fantastic beaches – but partly that is because many people who come here never really leave the all-inclusive resorts, which are unfortunately located on beaches that are not so great (at least in my humble opinion). Anyway, today I spent a fabulous day at my favorite beach, and decided I should share some pictures, and provide a review of the beaches in the Puerto Vallarta area.

Conchas Chinas beach (left)is one of my favorite and it is only a few minutes south of downtown Puerto Vallarta. Small, sheltered coves that have lovely turquoise water and clean soft sand. They are seldom busy. The downside is it is very small – so not so walk-able –and not much shade. There is some rocky outcroppings, so some good snorkeling is possible.

Downtown PV has a large beach called Playa Los Muertos and it is busy ALL THE TIME. Jammed packed with people, beach bars, restaurants, tourists. The beach is steep, the water often rough. A great place to eat if you like people watching – but not a very good swimming beach – and not walkable – as it is too steep and too crowded.

The hotel zone of PV has a more walkable beach – Playa de Oro – the sand may be gold, but it is course, and the water is almost never clear – so it looks murky. You can walk for miles though, and you can always find plenty of tourists, beach sellers, and beach bars.

Further north – north of the airport - you will enter the state of Nayarit and the hotel zone of Riviera Nayarit. Here you have Nuevo, Flamingos, and Bucerias beaches – all side by side. The miles and miles of sand here are the attraction – and the beaches are lined with large resorts and condo complexes. Here, the sand is course and the beach is steep. This makes it extremely hard to walk on, and the steep grade causes a significant break and rip tide. Boogie boarding is good here – and there are always lots of bars and people – but this is by far my least favorite of all the beach areas.

North of Bucerias you will come to the town of La Cruz. Here the water begins to mellow out. Coves form lovely sandy areas on Playa Manzanillo (left)where the water is calm and great for kids to play in. The beach here though is small and lined with local fondas – places that rent plastic chairs and tables and serve local dishes of fish. This beach is visited mostly by local families and can be quite busy and very noisy.

Last, and by far the best, is Playa Distiladaras.

It has it all: Miles of virtually deserted soft white sand coves.

Turquoise water warmed by the shallow entry making it safe swimming and small children, waves that break further out for boogie boarding.

Beautiful scenery , driftwood and shallow caves, views of the entire Bandaras Bay, Sierra Madre Mountains

A public bathroom and restaurant midway – the perfect place to get a cold beer and people watch.

Next month, we will be exploring beaches along the Yucatan peninsula on the Caribbean side of Mexico, where I am sure we will see many more equally lovely beaches, but for now, Distiladaras gets my vote for best west coast beach.

Blame the Extranejos!

Every day I read through a number of posts to various Facebook groups that have been set up by Canadian or American expatriates living in Mexico. They are great go to places for information on events, where to buy things, etc. But time after time people post the question: “What can I expect to spend per month if I live there?” or “Can I really live in Mexico on $1500 a month?”

This question always makes me giggle as it seems to me, no matter where you live, what it costs to live depends solely on how much you have to spend. Call me crazy, but if you have $1500 US a month to spend, chances are you are spending $1500 a month! If you have $3000 – you will spend $3000. Trust me here – International Living magazine may be telling the truth when they say you can live on your social security check in Mexico – but if you think that that small amount is going to buy you a comfortable lifestyle – bear in mind, "comfortable" is very subjective.

For example, to me, 34 degrees Celsius with 90% humidity at night without air conditioning is not comfortable. Nor is that temperature comfortable during the day for me without a pool or ocean. Eating 3 tacos a day and a submarine sandwich for supper may be cheap here – but that is just not "on" for me. To be "comfortable" I like good quality, healthy food – a variety of it. You get my point. Yes, you CAN live on $1500/month – and yes you will live better than many of this country's poor – but is that really what you had in mind for retirement?

Prices in Mexico are as variable as prices anywhere else. There are very cheap places to live and very expensive places to live. Generally, the closer you are to a tourist location such as Cancun, Playa del Carmen, Cabo san Lucas, Puerto Vallarta – the more things cost. The same would be said in Canada. Inland – far away from the beautiful blue sea and white sand - and from the gringos and their dollars, things tend to be less expensive.

It is ironic that the very people who come to Mexican resort areas because it is so much cheaper to live, are part of the reason prices are rising so much here. It is like in Vancouver, Canada. Rich Chinese are buying the real estate. They buy, they only live there a few months a year, and they drive the prices sky high - making it hard for average Canadians to afford a house there. Well, that is what average Canadians do when they buy in Mexico. They drive the prices up – making hard for the average Mexican to be able to afford.

Social media, I believe, has also played a role (at least on the little things). People travelling here often visit the various Facebook groups, or Trip Advisor to ask for recommendations. “Where is the best place to rent a car?” is one I read a lot. Inevitably, in this area (Bucerias) the answer is “Gecko Car Rental.” Now nothing against Gecko – but their prices are consistently higher than most other places – and yet – people continue to recommend them. I do not think they were always more expensive – but supply and demand – based on online recommendations – has assured their market. There will be no sales on car rental at Gecko to be sure. In fact, good luck if you only need a car for one day – because they can afford to insist you take it for 3 or 5 days! Now in fairness, Gecko can be counted on to not hide any fees, and they will pick you up at the airport – which is not always the case with others. Bur rest assured - there will be no Mexicans renting at Gecko!

Another thing that is debated on social network forums is the impact of extranejos insistence on over paying for things. Some say that while that seems like a good thing to do, it shows a lack of cultural understanding of how it ultimately hurts the very people it is meant to help. For example, during “gringo season” taxis often raise their prices and /or instead of picking up locals will drive right by and seek out a gringo who will over pay. Yes, the “poor” taxi driver is earning some much needed extra cash – but what about the poor mother on the street corner trying to get her daughter to the Doctor who cannot get anyone to pick her up? Or how about the poor woman at the market who normally pays 10 pesos for a pineapple, who now has to pay 50 pesos – because the "Mexican" market is now a "tourist attraction" and gringos are willing to pay that and don't want to barter – so that is the new price.

Now don’t get me wrong, tipping your waiter or your taxi driver or your maid is important – they NEED those tips to survive…why? Because minimum wage here is about $8 a day (not an hour) and thanks to gringo season everything has gone up in price. Ironic – that’s all I am saying.

Truthfully though – it is not so much the gringos to be blamed. The real reason is that Mexico’s economy is on fire! At this writing, Mexican inflation is running about 6-7%. Their middle class is growing exponentially. They are an emerging market that is creating millions and millions of people with enough money to start moving to places like Cancun, Cabo, Puerto Vallarta…

In fact, if inflation keeps up at this rate in Mexico, and it stays steady at 2-3% in Canada – it won’t be long before it will be just as expensive here as in parts of Canada. Ah but – the weather will always be better, Si?