Best Laid Plans

As a Type A planner, accepting the reality that even the best laid plans can be foiled by unexpected circumstances is tough. I like to know what outcomes to expect. I am a plan a, b, and c -er. Seldom do my plans include giving up on something. I generally work hard, and work out the kinks. I do not quit easily. Quitting my marriage last month was hard. Devastating really. Why couldn't I be stronger, better, more patient, more loving, more kind? Isn't love suppose to conquer all? Love is patent. Love is kind. Right? Love endures all. Or does it?

Marriages do not always break up because you fall out of love. Sometimes they fail despite love. In fact, sometimes love clouds judgment. Sometimes loving causes us to compromise our values, and ourselves. Love may be kind, but it can also be blind.

So here I am at age 57 - weeks away from 58 - single and having to rethink my Two Star Retirement.

My two star retirement was a good plan. (If you don't know what is was all about - go back to 2017 when I started this blog and read some of my early posts). I spent a lot of time thinking it through, sorting out the details, organizing, planning. I spent years working hard, and saving. I just did not plan for a marriage break up at age 57 - three years into the plan! If you have been through a divorce or separation, you know that it can be financially devastating - difficult at the least. Well, for me, that is not the problem. I can actually live on less money as a single person than as a married person. No, the difficult part is the part about not having someone to share that latte with in the morning. Oh, and not everyone is a good travel partner...that's real important when a large part of your retirement plan was about travel. So I am now without a travel partner.

Yes, I know I can travel with other single woman - but group travel is not me. I hate group travel. I am a non-conformist. An adventurer. I chase tornadoes for Pete's sake...not too many single women in their fifties want to do that! I want to stray off the beaten path. And I am frugal...I can always plan a bigger, better trip for less than booking through a tour company. I have perfected the art of luxury travel for less. That is what this two star retirement has been all about! Now I am alone...and it will all look a little different. Not terrible - just different. A man at my side has been very useful for my personal security. Travelling alone is definitely less safe. I have done a fair bit of solo travel - and it has its advantages for sure - but it also has its disadvantages. I am verbal - and saying, "oh my gosh, look at that, that is SOOOOO beautiful, is just not possible when you are alone. That is sad. My love of adventure and appreciation for all the world has to offer is share worthy.

This year, Covid19 has done a good job of screwing up my winter travel plans anyway - so maybe by next year I will have it all sorted out, but for now, I am feeling a little lost, a lot sad, and well, maybe a little less confident than usual. Having said that, I am strong and focused, and do look forward to a complete rethink of my two star retirement - so stay tuned. It most certainly will involve lots of travel, lots of learning, lots of adventure - probably a little more storm chasing - and likely, lots of practical tips on how to live a full and exciting life alone and on less than you think you need!

The Little Green Book and Hatshepsut

I have a little green book where I keep track of things...not day to day things like grocery lists, but goals, things I want to learn, places I want to go, etc. I even have a mission statement. I know, it's weird, but a lot of people have said to me that they are amazed at how much I have done in my life and I can tell you why: the little green book! It helps me keep myself focused on what I truly want in life. So about once a year I dig out my little green book, and I reread it and update it.

It starts with a big heading at the top that says "What am I passionate about?" The reason I wrote this at the top is because I wanted everything else to stem from that. Why spend your life doing stuff your not passionate about? Anyway, for me, I want to make sure I am spending my energy on what truly makes me happy. After my list of what I am passionate I have a statement about what success looks like (to me). For me success is when I am living my life in pursuit of my passions. There are other things in my mission statement - like making a meaningful contribution to the world and  becoming my highest and best self, but all of my endeavors are coloured by my passions. After my statement of success comes my bucket list. I have crossed off quite a lot of stuff there, like go back to university, move to the Okanagan, learn Spanish, run a Bed and Breakfast, etc. There are a few things left like owning a hobby farm but I have stalled on that one because one of my passions is travel, and it is impossible to travel with a bunch of goats! The longest list in the green book is the list of places I want to visit. I have crossed off literally dozens of these - having travelled to over 40 countries in the past 15 years. This past winter I picked off two more with my recent trip to South Africa and Egypt. So this brings me to my final "back blog" to catch up on the entries that were cut short by our narrow escape from Cairo just before they shut down international travel.

After two months in South Africa I had planned a three week trip in Egypt, touring from Cairo down to Luxor, then up to Aswan, and over to the coast. However, the trip was necessarily cut short due to the coronavirus. We ended up missing out on seeing Luxor and the many temples and archaeological sights there - which was really the main reason for visiting. We also had to cancel our luxury cruise (in hind sight this was a very good decision), and while we did the mad dash around Giza and Cairo trying to see everything in the three days we were there, it wasn't all that much fun. 

The traffic in Cairo is insane, the sky is brown and hurts to breath, and the streets are dirty. It's funny, because that sounds a lot like India - and I LOVE India - but I just did not warm up to Egypt. There are a couple of reasons I think. In India, the food is amazing. I can tolerate a lot of icky street garbage in exchange for some seriously good eats. And yup, you guessed it, food is one of my passions. I am passionate about growing it, cooking it, and eating it! Also, every time someone coughed we cringed. We spent two days in a vehicle with a guide who hacked all day long without covering his mouth. In fact, everywhere we went people were coughing. I will admit it is entirely possible we were just paranoid because of the coronavirus crisis, but it did dampen our desire to stay and we couldn't get out of there fast enough!

We did enjoy seeing the pyramids and the Coptic Christian churches. One day while we were walking down the street, a bus full of teenagers stopped across the street. The kids were waiving at us out of their windows, and we waved back. Within seconds the entire bus including the driver had jumped out, run across the street and began mauling us - wanting to take selfies with us, shaking our hands (no doubt slathering us with the virus) and taking our picture. I felt like Julia Roberts - only shorter - and fatter - and well, with smaller lips. I experienced a similar thing when I was in India and Japan. People were constantly stopping me and asking if they could take my picture. As a matter of fact, it happened in Turkey too! Hey - move aside Julia!!

Speaking of women I admire, I really wanted to go to Egypt because I wanted to see the temple of Hatshepsut, the Queen who would be King...a woman after my own heart. She ruled 3500 years ago, and while she was not the first or the only female leader, she was the only to reign as a male - with the full authority of Pharaoh. The statue of her shows her with her boobs in her hands (yes those are boobs) to indicate she cut off her womanhood, and all the statues of her show her wearing a fake beard. I read a great historical fiction about her - one of my favorite books called, Child of the Morning by Pauline Gedge. It is a good read, and maybe it will inspire you to make the journey to Egypt yourself...just be sure to take the hand sanitizer with you and wear a mask.