New Beginnings

The new moon is a powerful time for new beginnings. If you were lucky the other night, you had an opportunity to look up and take in the spectacle. Throughout history, cultures around the world have looked to the new moon with awe and inspiration. This week's new moon was a red moon - an illusion of bent rays of light - as well as a "wolf" moon - appearing bigger and brighter than usual. Add to that a total lunar eclipse and it was a night to remember for many.

New moon rituals are often about setting intentions for the coming month. New beginnings give us hope that things can be better. Just think back to how many New Year's resolutions you have made - and broken. Looking forward and treating each day or each month, or each new year as a new beginning is easier said than done. Our past shapes us, informs us, and let's be truthful, holds us back sometimes. We are comfortable with what we know and often hang on to the past for dear life - fearing what might be ahead. Habits are hard to break. New beginnings are the start of something unknown - and that can be scary.

I read a great quote by Joseph Campbell, it said, "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." He goes on to talk about shedding our skin - and while the analogy is just plain creepy, it is a good one - reminding us that leaving behind some of the "stuff" is not a bad idea.

New moon's are about setting intentions, and I decided that my intent for the coming month is to have more fun! For me, life needs to be fun, because, well, fun is fun! I like fun, and I want more of it in my life. Nothing warms the heart more than a good belly laugh - and in fact, it apparently will add 10 minutes to your lifespan. A good case for nightly giggles under the covers.

I am usually pretty good at cracking myself up - and often do not even need someone else to make me laugh. I love practical jokes too, and have been scheming for the past two weeks on how to make good use of Twiggy, the giant-ass spider living in my bathroom. Twiggy, or Arachnistein as Stephane likes to calls her, is a Tailess whip scorpion. Her body is about 2.5 inches long, and her legs span out at least six inches on either side. To add to her charm, she has big pincers out front, like a lobster (and almost as big). She lives behind our bathroom mirror, and only comes out at night. So going to pee in the middle of the night is an adventure. You stick your hand through the door to switch on the light first, then you slowly peek around the door to ensure Twiggy is not lurking above the door ready to pounce on you. Once you find her on the wall, you can keep a safe distance and go pee. The first few nights I was not sure if the beast jumped or not, and I had visions of her landing on my face while I sat there helpless.

Sadly, there has been no such excitement. If I could just coax her into a big plastic bowl...

Yes. No. Yes.

After reading my latest blog the other day, Stephane sent me an email suggesting I write a blog about how often we change our minds. I am pretty sure what he meant was, "Corrie, you should write a blog about why YOU change your mind so much." It is true: I change my mind regularly, even after I have made a decision following much analysis. Following my blog is probably downright confusing right? One minute we are going to Columbia, and then all of a sudden we are renovating a house in Oliver. Our plans have changed innumerable times in the past year. I have changed careers six times. Houses 20 times. I admit it, I change my mind - a lot.

Jeff Bezos, who is the CEO of Amazon, and someone I consider to be incredibly intelligent, says the smartest people he knows are those who are constantly reconsidering a problem they thought they’d already solved. It is because they’re open to new points of view, new information, new ideas, contradictions, and challenges to their own way of thinking. He says it’s not only perfectly healthy – but should be encouraged - to have an idea tomorrow that contradicts your idea today. Woohoo - someone smart who doesn't think I am a crazy person!

I think the world would be a better place if we all changed our minds more often. Think about how many problems might be solved by us coming out of our trench and letting go of our position - opening up our minds to thinking differently about something: changing our minds could possible change our relationships, our lives and our world.

Malcom Gladwell, another great mind and author of Outliers, Blink, and many other best sellers, said, "your responsibility as a person, as a human being – is to constantly be updating your positions on as many things as possible. And if you don't contradict yourself on a regular basis, then you're not thinking.”

When we settle into a set way of thinking, and think the same thing over and over, constantly reinforcing our beliefs, we basically train our brains - lay down neural pathways - that ultimately make it difficult to think any other way. Now that does not mean that holding true to positions of value is wrong. It is not. It is a legitimate position to embrace incremental change, in other words, to be conservative. Nothing wrong with that - unless of course it creates unworkable positions in life. The world is changing, and we must adapt - to a certain degree - if we want to survive. If humans continued to eat and live and think the way we did a million years ago - we would probably all be dead. Survival requires adaptation. And Adaptation requires we think differently sometimes.

Neuroplasticity, also known as brain plasticity, is a fairly new understanding of how our brains work. Basically, it is the ability of the brain to change throughout an individual's life. We used to think that a child's brain was formed early on - and nothing much changed after that. Research has shown more recently that many aspects of the brain can be altered - even in adulthood. You can re-wire your brain.

Thinking differently about something, long enough to lay down new neural pathways, can change your mind, and thus your behaviour. I LOVE THIS! It means that with some diligence, we can change our bad habits. Conversely, if we remain open to new ideas, thoughts, and possibilities, we won't get entrenched into ways of thinking that hold us back - allowing us to adapt, and survive.

So, here's to change! I say, change your mind folks. Change it frequently. Change it for the better. And the next time someone says, "Man, you change your mind a lot," I suggest you say, thank you!

2019 - A New Story

It has been two months since my last blog. Stephane has been in Montreal since the end of October where he spent some much needed time with family and friends and welcomed the birth of our first granddaughter Jade. Today he arrived in Mexico and I am looking forward to joining Stephane in Bucerias on January 7th for two months.

As I sit here on my new chaise lounge looking at the beautiful lake out the window, I am pondering something I listened to on a Youtube Ted talk video the other day. Who we are is determined by the stories we tell ourselves. If you don't tell the story you want, you'll end up living someone else's.

I have always lived my life proactively with little fear. I am not one to want the winds or tides to determine my path. I am goal-oriented, driven, highly industrious and very conscientious. I was born with a Tony Robins manual in my belly (I have never actually read his stuff, so I do not know if that it true - but you get my point...I am easily self motivated and naturally do the things that result in a certain level of success). While these personality traits have their negative components (discontent and being judgmental are the two biggest), they can work in my favour in that my work ethic and motivation also applies to self improvement: I want to work on myself.

Being alone the last two months of 2018 has really helped me: it has been hard, but worthwhile. I have come to see that in silence I hear my authentic self. When alone, I can blame no one for how I feel - only myself. Having nothing to do gives me time to analyze myself, even though gazing deeply into my own soul is terrifying. If you follow my blog you know we have just finished renovating our house and the stress left us both feeling chewed up and spit out, so our separation has been about renovating our marriage. It was a mutual decision to give us time to do some much needed work on ourselves. Everyone knows I love renovating houses, and I need constant change - but - let's face it - changing the wall colour is much more fun than changing myself! Self analyses is hard, and sometimes ugly. Changing ones self requires telling the truth, it means looking deep inside at my own strengths and weaknesses. And so for two months Steph and I have been scraping the layers of old paint off ourselves, and shining up what is underneath. We are not done yet, it is a work in progress, but we are learning to accept things that are not in our control to change. Acceptance of others and 100% accountability are necessary. So are boundaries and staying true to who we are as individuals and what we value.

I am looking forward to seeing my husband again. I have missed him. Time apart to re-set things was good. Our relationship is worth it. But most important, I have a new relationship with myself, as does Stephane with himself, and these two renovated souls are really looking forward to some time together to begin creating the story we want for 2019.