Are We Having Fun Yet?

The last couple of months have caused me to pause and think hard about what I value in life. The last month we were in Utila, a good friend was diagnosed with cancer. It was shocking and unexpected, and made me realize how precarious our time on earth is. A month later, while in Ajijic, the woman we were house sitting for was also diagnosed with cancer. And then, after being home only a month, a fellow musician and friend died suddenly in his sleep.

Life is short, and when we lose people we love, or when we see people struggle with potentially deadly illnesses, it makes us sit up and think about how we spend our time. I felt so sad the morning after my friend died. I felt sad for his wife of many years - how empty her life must feel right now. I felt sad for all of us who gather biweekly to play and hear music, for we have lost a friend and a talent that we all so enjoyed. I felt sad for Steph and I - for how many moments we have wasted arguing over this stupid house.

The skies here are dark and grey and have been for weeks due to over 500 forest fires burning all around us. It looks like winter as ash falls from the sky like snow. The dark gloom matches my mood.


I have been working hard for weeks insulating, patching concrete, and cleaning up endless piles of debris, and Stephane has been busy keeping our upstairs "nest" clean. He cooks meals, buys groceries and is handling everything that I just do not have time for right now.

I broke down this week and called my old contractor in Calgary. We have renovated a number of houses together and I so appreciate how fast and how hard he works. He arrives on September 17th to try to help us get this reno completed in time for us to go south on October 12. On September 4 a drywall guy is coming to fix the mess my current guy has made, and then by the end of that week it will be my turn to put in the long days: I will have to prime and paint the entire basement, and put together all the kitchen cabinets. Once Jonathan gets here from Calgary he will hang the cabinets, install the counters, tile the kitchen and bathroom, finish the outside of the new windows, and then move upstairs to build the new ensuite upstairs while the flooring guys install the planking and carpet down. During that time I will be painting baseboards which I hope he can install before he leaves on Sept 28th. After that, we will be ready to put snowbirds in here up and down for the winter.

Having short term renters every winter when we go south is key to our two star retirement plan...it totally offsets our expenses down south. Last year was a shit show, and although we had some good rent coming in at times, it never came close to offsetting the money we had to unexpectedly put into the place after the first tenants trashed the place. By sticking to short term renters of our own age - homeowners from another part of Canada where winters are colder than here - we hope to avoid any tenant issues. Snowbirds often pay their rent in full, in advance, and because they are homeowners themselves, they treat your home with respect.

My goal is to complete the outside of the house upon return from Mexico at the end of March. We have a significant job to do in the backyard, which needs to be terraced to make room for the pool - which we need so we can do vacation rental next summer - also a big part of our retirement plan. In Oliver, there is always a shortage of accommodations, so vacation rentals are in high demand, and that will yield significantly more rent than long term tenants.

Now before you give me the lecture on "that's why there is an affordable housing shortage" please remember I tried the long term renter route - offering my home to two young men with a dog. I knew they would have a tough time finding a place, and I felt responsible. They not only stopped paying rent after the first month, but they trashed my house costing me over $15,000. Then the second long term tenant fled without paying her last month rent and when I got home I found her cat had poked holes all over my designer leather couch! So it is no wonder why people hold out for vacation renters...they are generally respectful, they pay more, in advance, and the law does not allow them to stay in your home and trash it while not paying rent. So I say, if people are concerned about an affordable housing crisis, maybe they should lobby policy makers to make changes to the Landlord/Tenant Act that currently favours bad tenants.

I know I sound cynical - I am so very tired, and more than a little crabby. Steph and I both continue to not sleep well, and the minor and major problems around here continue to plague me. Stupid stuff that makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Like yesterday: I finally decided on what stove I want for the upstairs. High end appliances are "in" right now - especially professional ranges, so finding one that is affordable has not been easy. I finally found one but it was only available through Home Depot online in the U.S. Unfortunately when I tried to buy it online, they do not accept Canadian credit cards. I had to drive all the way to Omak, Washington yesterday to buy $3000 worth of Home depot gift cards, and then come back and use the gift cards to make the online purchase. Unfortunately when I did, that particular stove did not qualify for the free shipping to my U.S. address in Oroville, Washington so the total amount in my "shopping cart" came to - get this - $4.38 MORE THAN WHAT I LOADED ON THE GIFT CARD! So I had to make the decision to either drive down there again for five freaking dollars, or pick a new stove with free delivery. So, I picked a new stove (actually a better quality - just less pretty), but when I tried to make the purchase, a sign came up saying "call your local store." So I did, and he was very helpful, however, when we got to the gift card part, it turns out that $2000 dollars on one of the cards is NOT THERE!! So this morning I had to call another number and try to find out where my $2000 went. To make a very long story short, I spent two hours on the phone and still have no stove and have to drive back to Washington tomorrow.

Good times.

It's About Time

Time is something that plays a huge role in all of our lives. “I have no time,” “I am running out of time,” “what time is it, anyway?” Before launching into a conversation we often say, “do you have a minute?” as though time can somehow be owned. Time has been referred to as an illusion. It is elusive, and it is perceived differently by everyone.

In my thirties I was a successful business woman, always on the run, always in a hurry. I had an assistant who had to remind me to pee. At the time (there's that word again) I was under the illusion that the busier I was, the better I was. I often felt annoyed at people who wasted my time – "my time" - as though I alone owned it and there were rules as to how it should be used. Can we even “use” time? Anyway, those who showed up really late to appointments were often new Canadians. I would mutter to myself that they had no respect.

After spending extended periods of time in Africa and India however, I began to understand: In the developing world most people are too poor to own watches or clocks. Without clocks, time has no meaning. If someone in rural India or Africa says they will come and see you at 2pm tomorrow…what they mean is, tomorrow I will go to the bus station and catch a rickety old bus that will not leave the station until it is full. Then, when it leaves the station three hours later, I will hope that it does not break down, as it often does. If I arrive at your house before supper, that would be a victory! Making an appointment for a specific time just cannot be done in many places, and it would in fact be completely unreasonable. Outside the resorts, no one is in a hurry in the developing world. After three trips around the world, and extended stays in many developing nations, I am finally learning to not be in such a hurry. I have learned to accept delays, go with the flow, and be flexible - all things tremendously important when renovating a house.

We are a full month into our renovation and have not yet finished framing and wiring. My contractor, who promised me every other week, does not seem to know the concept of a full work week. Week one he worked 28 hours, and then he was gone for a week. Week two he was here less than two days and now he is gone again for a week. Needless to say, we are way behind schedule.

Stephane and I were talking the other day about how we felt to be back home, and I said to him that since we have been home, with the exception of a few visits with friends, our entire time has been spent on the buying, building, cleaning, and maintaining of "things". There is no time for experiences outside of buying, building, cleaning... That is the reality of ownership. We work hard, often at jobs we do not like, so we can... buy, build, clean, and maintain ever more things. That’s not to say I regret home or car ownership – these things are luxuries for which I am grateful, however, as I get older, I see some futility in the endless hamster wheel run of buying, building...

As I write this - I am having another sleepless night. It is 4 am - an ungodly hour to be up - and I am missing the strange world where it took us two hours to buy lettuce. The places where we had time to just “be.” Where listening to the waves was a legitimate past time.

Working for Freedom

Renovating a house is always very stressful. Issues with contractors is one stressor. I used to have a guy in Calgary that was so good, he has tarnished my expectations of others. Here in B.C. you cannot be too picky because it is slim pickings. Most people that come here come here to retire – so they do not want to work. And because no one wants to work, those who do, have too much work. The thing I hate the most though is that most of the guys I hire smoke. I don’t care about the smoking itself – but I do care that they smoke on my dime. To them, having a quick smoke break is no big deal, but a 5 minute smoke break costs me thousands! Let me explain: I pay my contractor $95/hour. So five minutes costs me $7.92. He takes 6 smoke breaks a day, so that costs me $47.50 a day, or $237.50 a week! Times that by a few months, and you get my point.

Another stressor is the noise: all day long we hear the constant din of banging and sawing. Speaking of noise, after our trip and analyzing various locations for noise, I came home to sounds I did not know existed here. Our first morning here I laid in bed listening to the sounds of morning. It started with the doves and quail hoo – hooting, then the slow din of cars on the distant highway, working their way into town. Then at night while going to sleep I hear a true symphony of crickets. I didn’t know we had crickets here! They are just as loud as the ones in Bucerias! Anyway, these are noises that do not bother me; it just took some time to get used to.

Renovations always bring surprises and this house has been no exception. I had budgeted $15000 for the basement, but we will end up spending three times that. Our first surprise was finding a cut, live wire in the ceiling. That meant we had to rip down the entire ceiling to see if there were others – and there were! Then after ripping out some drywall to make room for new wiring, we found some mold and water damage on an exterior wall below an old window. That means we have to rip out the window to replace the rotten 2 x 6, so THAT means, I have to replace all the windows so they match. Truthfully they needed to be done anyway. But now, the exterior needs to be done because there was no way to find a window of the same size, and so now we have to redo the stucco or patch and paint the house. Then, after framing in and wiring the new bathroom, we realized we had no heat in there, so that got me analyzing my heating system here and calculating my R factor...that led to redoing all the exterior insulation. And electricity is SO expensive here, I have to change the furnace to gas so I can afford the bills…

You get the picture.

The most stressful part about renovating for me though, is the constant fight I have to be respected for my knowledge and experience. It is a man’s world and there are few women who act as general contractors. Being in charge of a bunch of testosterone filled men who all hate being told what to do by a woman is very annoying. And that includes my husband; renovating is hard on his ego. My husband is a wonderful guy and he was a really good salesperson. He had a great career and seldom complained about his work. But he is not a fan of hard labour – and that is what I have him doing now. Demolition – ripping down walls. Look at what he has pulled out of the basement!



What keeps us going is the knowledge that when this is all over we will be able to head back on the road for some fun and sun. Until then, we will plug along. Working for a couple of months so we can have the freedom to not work for the rest of the year is worth it. I think.