Old is not a Bad Word

Today after pickle ball my husband gently suggested I should be careful when I make reference to “old people.” I had been talking to someone older than me about how many old people there were in my town of Oliver. Stephane was afraid I might have offended her. That got me to thinking, why is referencing someone’s seniority impolite? Cultures around the world celebrate their old and venerate their elders, and yet we Canadians and Americans are made to feel rude because we say someone is “old.” Old is not a bad word.

What is it about our culture that compels us to say, “Old is a state of mind,” as though there is something wrong with physical aging? Why can’t people be old – and why can’t people talk about people getting old? It is that very attitude that perpetuates the taboo of “old.” Old is not a bad word.

When will we begin to celebrate old, respect old, and appreciate old? When will it be a compliment to say to someone, “you are so much older than I am?” When we were young, and we said to someone, “you are so much older than I am” it was received as a compliment. At what age does it become a criticism? Old is not a bad word.

The problem is that our culture celebrates work ethic and independence – something that diminishes as we age. This causes us to struggle with feelings of guilt for getting old. Instead of celebrating that in retirement we finally have time to nap when we feel tired, we slug back another cappuccino and head out for another round of pickle ball. Once we just cannot keep up - because our arthritis is too bad, or our heart is not 100%, we feel bad about ourselves because we cannot "do" things anymore. Our culture does not value “being.” Especially being old.

Old is good, old is beautiful, and aging gracefully is not a competition. It is not about how few wrinkles you have or how fit you are. Ageing gracefully is about accepting that is “OK” to get old. Aging gracefully is coming to see that “old” is not a bad word.