After we left South Africa we went to Egypt - for that bucket list Nile cruise I have been wanting to take, but within days of arriving we knew we needed to hop on the soonest flight and get the hell home before it was too late. Now I am in isolation, as I developed symptoms on the day I arrived. I warned my son who was to pick me up at the airport and while I looked pretty ragged, having just flown 30 hours straight with no sleep, he looked, well...you judge for yourself.
Joel started preparing for this pandemic in early January back when everyone said this would fizzle out and that the media was sensationalizing and over stating the risk. He had already bought disinfecting supplies, face masks and toilet paper, long before anyone looked at you funny for doing so. And I am glad he did, because I came home to isolation and an empty house. No food, no TP and no ability to sanitize because there is not a bleach wipe out there to be had. Fortunately Joel was able to stock me up. By the way, I have been in isolation since Friday (4 days) and have gone through four rolls of toilet paper. I'm just saying...
Sadly, all of you will likely have to go through this too, and you should be prepared, both physically and mentally. It is hard. I am lonely, bored, and struggling with overwhelming feelings of sadness. I cry for my older friends and the risks they will soon face. I cry for my friend who is a Doctor, knowing the sacrifices he and his family are being asked to make. I feel sad for what we all must face in the coming weeks and months.
I appreciate all the positive ideas, advice, and dancing drunk frogs floating out there on social media and I agree isolation is a great time to read a book, learn a hobby or take an online class....but here is the reality, or at least MY reality: I came home to an empty house after 3.5 months of travel. I had no time to prepare. I do not have a ton of food stocked up and that makes me feel vulnerable. I have exactly 9 rolls of toilet paper on hand. I have great neighbours and friends doing store runs - and more importantly - wine runs, and I am not going to starve; however, I feel I have no control of my own destiny. I feel too sick to go for walks or do yoga. I don't want to learn to paint because I am too busy worrying about whether or not I am going to die. I would like to read a book, but I actually do not have any. I do have virtual library access, but frankly, my eyeballs hurt from staring at my cell phone because I cannot seem to tear myself away from the news.
I just had a video appointment with my Doctor. I cannot go in because of my symptoms (headaches, coughing, chest pain) and now I seem to have developed shingles, adding to my concern that my body's immune system is overtaxed. As the situation out there gets worse and the health care system gets more overwhelmed, people with regular health issues are going to find it scary as hell. I certainly do. Imagine you get bad chest pain, as I did last night. You may find yourself saying "Do I go to the hospital or not? Am I having a heart attack or a panic attack? Is this my lungs filling up with fluid?What if I have the flu and I get COVID19 if I go there? I don't want to burden the system, but I also don't want to die of a heart attack at home alone." The mind can play some pretty bad tricks on you when you are alone for days on end, and despite how strong and positive you think you are - you are not likely prepared for this. By the way, my Doctor is concerned about my heart, and I have been asked to go to emergency right now.... I 'll just quickly finish this blog ...
How can we be prepared emotionally for what is happening - it is unthinkable. As I write this the Prime Minister of Canada is considering recalling parliament to vote on the enactment of the Emergency Act. This enables the government to have powers to do whatever is necessary...including arresting people for leaving their homes. Why are they doing this? Because so many people out there are not grasping the severity of what is going on. To those people all I can say is, stay home. Please stay home.
If you are out of the country - especially if you are in a developing nation - think beyond yourself. They do not have adequate resources to handle what will come there too eventually. They need their resources to protect and treat their own citizens. The fancy American private hospitals will soon enough be overrun, and you will find yourself far away from your loved ones. Please come home.
Over the coming days and weeks I hope to blog a lot. For me it is part of trying to stay sane in these unreal times. It is going to help me cope. I hope to share more uplifting travel stories and tales to help you cope. We are in this together. Stay safe and stay home.
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