Disability? I Call it Bad Signage

So anyone who knows me well knows I suffer from a strange disability: I am sure it has a name, but I do not know what it is. I don’t recognize facial differences very well...o.k., not at all. For example, Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Chris Pine, and Matt Damon all look the same to me. They are all married to Angelina Jolie in my mind. I can meet someone at a party, shake their hand and introduce myself, and five minutes later walk up to them and say, “Hi, I’m Corrie.” This disability was a real problem when I was in politics. Whenever we were at the campaign office either Stephane or my son Joel had to walk beside me and whisper in my ear people’s names. And it wasn’t that I could not remember their name. I knew every name of every volunteer, every donor, and damn near every person in my riding. I could tell you the address of every party member in the constituency. I knew what name went with what house, and even their phone numbers. I just didn’t know what FACE went with the name or address.

So after an hour of wandering around the Seattle airport, Stephane has decided I have another disability...the inability to read airport signs. The things is, the signs are stupid. Airports like to use arrows to show you where to go, however, it gets a little confusing - at least for someone like me who hates ambiguity. Does that arrow pointing at an angle down to the right mean go down the escalator, or walk in an angle to the right? What about when there are two totally different signs pointing in two totally different directions that are for the same destination? Seriously, whoever designed the airport signage here should be fired. As a matter of fact, whoever put the signs up in our hotel last night should be fired. When we got off the elevator, there was a sign on the wall, right there in plain sight that said room 201-212 go left. We were in room 201 so we went left. All the way down the hall...room 202, 203, 204...all the way to the end, to the left and found every room except room 201, which of course was the only room to the right. So why did they do that? Why not put two signs...rooms 202-212 to the left and room 201 to the right? This is not rocket science and yet, I am forever befuddled by signs.


I suspect my difficulty with these things is why I always did terrible on multiple choice tests. It was that “pick the BEST answer” thing that always threw me. The best answer? Why not the hell the right answer? If none of the answers are exactly right, why do they put the question on the test in the first place? I’ll tell you why...to make me crazy, that’s why.

I am now sitting in the airport VIP lounge having my third glass of wine, trying desperatley to recover from the sign trauma. Here’s to hoping the Germans do signage better than the Americans. Next stop, Frankfurt.