Day One of Retirement

Day one of retirement looked pretty much like any other Saturday: Sleep in, drink two lattes while curled up on the couch solving the world's problems in our housecoats, and reading by the fire, the National Post, The Globe and Mail, and my personal favorite, The Oliver Chronicle.


The Chronicle is a breath of fresh air. The unexpected delight of moving to a small town. The Chronicle makes me feel like I live in "the good ole days." The Chronicle makes me feel good. Unlike the national newspapers, which, well, make me feel scared. Take today's Post for example: a two page spread on what we are all most likely to die of: nuclear war, an asteroid, a pandemic, or annihilation by artificial intelligence. Contrast that to the Chronicle where the most negative thing is found in the Fruit and Vine section where someone writes that they want to give a "truck load of sour grapes" to someone for speeding down main street. Gosh I love small towns.


After reading the Chronicle in its entirety, I flip past the national doom and gloom to the Financial Post section. Now that's a real blast! Truly - it makes me giggle! Each week they profile an anonymous couple hoping to retire. They evaluate the couples income, assets, liabilities, and retirement goals, and give stars (out of five) for their retirement readiness. Every week, people with millions of dollars get 2, 3 and 4 stars - and every week Steph says, "Oh man, we are so screwed!"


The thing is, what all these financial analysts fail to take into consideration, is that one does not necessarily need to leave their entire net worth to their children when they die. They could, in fact, spend the money they saved for retirement - on - say - THEIR RETIREMENT!!


In fact, if you plan on spending your savings, rather than giving it all away to your children, you need less than you think, or at least that is what the handy dandy retirement spread sheet I designed tells me. I suspect there is a 25% probability that I programmed the spreadsheet wrong, and we really ARE going to run out of money, but as my good friend Leann says, "I choose to believe" we have enough money to not only retire, but to live an exciting life full of luxury, travel, adventure, and altruism - all on less than a million dollars.

Sorry kids, there will be no big inheritance, and according to my spreadsheet, if I live a day longer than 91 I am screwed!