I have driven in a lot of countries. Right hand, left hand, no hands…I have driven on roads in Africa that had potholes the size of a small car, and on roads in India that are built for two lanes but have five lanes of cars and one lane of cows. I am a brave driver and thought I had seen it all.
But Devon?
Now you
would think with roads such as these that people would drive slowly. Not so
much…
So, for me,
a typical drive into town goes something like this: I am driving slowly, very
slowly down the centre of the road. One of my side mirrors is folded in because
it keeps scraping on the hedge even though I am in the centre of the road. I start
down a long, steep hill with a corner at the bottom when suddenly a large garbage
truck appears. Screech. He comes to a stop. Screech. I come to a stop.
Pause.
Said truck driver hand motions me to pull over
into the “pull out,” that is about 20 feet in front of me, so he can get by. I
shake my head no. He wonders why, and I yell, as though he can hear me, “Can
you not see that that pull out is not pavement, but rather 8 inches deep of mud?
I am not driving into that! I am not a freaking tractor - I will never get out!
The mud in this county pulls the boots right off my feet! You drive into the
mud!!!”
We are staring each other down. He is much bigger than me, so finally I put the car in reverse and back up. Up, up, up the very steep mud slicken skinny freaking road. Not a few feet. Not a few meters. A bloody kilometer!! And as I back up around one of many corners, another car comes to a screeching halt behind me. So now two of us are backing up, and all I can do is sigh and say, “How do you people live like this?”
The truck
passes and waves, and I head back down the hill.
This goes on all day! So, what should be a 10-minute drive into town becomes a hair-raising half an hour of hell.
Once I got to town today I decided I deserved a scone - with devonshire cream and strawberry jam - you know, for being such a brave driver, but first I needed to park. Parking in Devon is almost as bad as driving. Cars
are parked pointing both directions on both sides of the road. It is the most
bizarre thing, and it just feels wrong – so - just because I can, I park on the wrong side of the
road, in the right direction. (As if driving on the left-hand side of the
street isn’t confusing enough!)
As I walked down the main street of Honiton – the closest town to Buckerell, I noticed not one, not two, not three, not four, but five barber shops in less than three blocks, yet, for the life of me, I could not find any freaking scones! (That’s not actually true, I did find and buy some scones because the ones I made were, in comparison, quite terrible, and having navigated the roads and the parking...I definately deserved scones).
Besides the weird roads and parking, one must add the traffic circles and the signage to the Devon driving delights. There are A LOT of traffic circles – and while some of them look like the kind of traffic circles most North Americans would be familiar with, you know, a large circle with some sort of centre area you drive around, some of the "circles" here are just downright confusing, and when you add to that driving on the opposite side of the road than what I am used to, it can be a bit quite hairy. Also scone worthy...
And what the hell is a “weak bridge?” This does not inspire confidence to cross said bridge.
And then there are the passing lane signals painted on the pavement. At least I think that is what they are. It is a curved arrow painted over the centre line of the larger highways (and by highway I mean the roads that actually fit two cars). The arrow is coming over the line, so it looks like it is directing cars coming towards you to drive into you, and I found myself asking, does this mean I should swerve over when a car is coming straight at me, or does it mean beware of cars swerving into your lane???
All of this is to say that while I usually enjoy a nice drive in the countryside to see all the scenery, driving in Devon has made me just want to stay home, and you guessed it, eat scones, because while Devon may fail at roads, they definately win at thick, gooey, cream that is nothing short of heavenly.
It is possible it has something to do with dry January. I am giving my liver a break and so when my nerves are frayed from driving, I have substituted something equally good at calming the nerves...
And without long daily drives in the country, there is absolutely nothing to do in Buckerell. I have visited all the surrounding towns in the first five days here, and in Buckerell, it takes me exactly 3 minutes to walk from one end of town to the other, and I absolutely cannot walk on the roads out of town because then the fast driving cars on the skinny road tunnels would just run over me.
Needless to say, I am a little bored at times, so today while buying scones, I also bought some water colour paint and paper. I have never done it before, but thought it might be a productive way to keep my hands out of the coddled cream.
I decided to try to paint this photo I took this morning on my walk. (O.K., so his legs are a bit too long and at the wrong angle - give me a break, it was my very first time!)
Maybe I should stick to photography.