Keeping Up With the Machine

The last 11 days have been a marathon of 10 hour working days. It is amazing to me that my body is so much less capable than it was even 4 years ago. Our contractor has started every day at 8 am, and we work alongside him until he leaves at 6:30 pm. He is a machine. I am not.

I am focused and stay steady at my work, but I hit a brick wall around 4:30 and that is when the crabby me bears her ugly head. My joints hurt, by back aches, my hands and shoulders are in pain, and by 6 pm I am literally dragging my body up the stairs.

Renovating an entire house in two months has been challenging to say the least. Early on the issue was working with “numb nuts” (our pet name for the contractor that literally did EVERYTHING wrong), and now the difficulty is keeping up with Jonathan from Calgary: our contractor is a machine. He is good. He is fast. He does not stop working for one second in a 10 hour day. I do not think he pees…and we are his “helpers” so we have to keep up. He has come a long way to help us out, and we have to lift, and bend and carry and clean and paint and sand until we are exhausted.

Our basement suite is almost done – I have a few minor decorative things to do this winter, but it is lovely and livable. The ensuite upstairs (which used to be our third bedroom) is nearly complete too: I just have to hang the light fixtures and paint. Our kitchen is totally torn apart right now and we are basically living in a hell hole. There is no sink, no stove. Cardboard is taped on the floor, but somehow the drywall dust always finds a way under it to be ground into the new flooring. There is sawdust on our dishes giving new meaning to the words dirty dishes!

I woke up at 3am - again - last night, unable to sleep and when I tried to go to the couch to drink some sleepy-time tea I almost killed myself on a table saw, only to recover and sit down on a stack of wall tile piled on the couch. Pizza and bagged salad is on the menu more often than I like to admit. Stephane is overwhelmed by the chaos but he is plugging on, trying to hide his misery. He works hard and his body is in revolt – unused to hard physical labour and long days.



I am writing this in the bathtub -the only part of our home that is not torn apart: It was that or sit on the toilet, so the hot water was an easy choice. The tub is my refuge. It is where I soak my weary bones in the morning - to limber up for my long day - and where I eat my supper at night, while soaking my wearing bones again. By Wednesday next week I will be soaking in my new, beautiful deep, luxurious bathtub. For now though, my BBQ’d smokey is on the edge of the tub beside my laptop, laying unappetizing beside my pickle. Another wonderful meal. Another exhausting day.

Sad Relief

Today we cancelled our five month reservation at our favorite place in Bucerias. We had talked about cancelling, but just kept stalling on actually doing it in the hopes that our reno would be done in time and we could still head south for the winter - but that is just not going to happen. So while it was sad to cancel, it also brought some relief, for now we do not have to panic when things are delayed, or rush about like chickens with our heads cut off to try to complete things in time. We still have to go to Puerto Vallarta to collect the things we had stored at Los Arroyos Verdes this spring, and to use a couple weeks at a resort in Punta Mita on our favorite beach (see pic) that we had already paid for.



So October 12-26 we will be fly down, fall exhausted on the bed - stare at the ocean, the Sierra Madre mountains, and the twinkling lghts of puerto Vallarta for two weeks in a state of sheer oblivion, and then come home and carry on - wishing we had not let go of our other five months of paradise.... Hopefully by December the basement suite will be ready to rent out, and if we are lucky, we can sneak away for awhile in January and/or February. After singing at Medici's a couple weeks ago we were approached by a couple who recently moved to Oliver. They loved our music, and said, "Hey, we have a 2 bedroom place on the beach in Panama where we go every winter. We would love to have you come down and sing at our local bar there. You can come down and stay with us for free!" Panama is the only country in Central America I have not been to, so maybe we will take them up on their offer!

Since we are staying home this winter, we have decided we will sign up for the local pickle ball and take in as many charity and music and food events as possible. We are going to get together with our friends that don't go south and play crib once a month, and hopefully our house will be in grand shape to host a bunch of dinner parties. The one thing we really missed while travelling was our friends and community, so we have a renewed sense of appreciation for all that Oliver has to offer, and want to take in as much in as possible.

Today is a busy day: we have to drive to Penticton to pick up a cargo van, go pick up a mid century table I bought, bring it home, unload it, then drive to Omak Washington to pick up some LED lights I cannot get in Canada, then to Oroville Washington to pick up my stove (so excited to use it), then to the farm store to pick up the galvanized steel watering troughs I am going to use as raised garden beds. They wanted $450 each at the Oliver farm store and 30 miles south in Washington they are $89.99. Price gauging I think - Cannot be all tariffs. My Mandalay bathtub and black stainless steel fridge also arrive today. Then tomorrow we have to drive to Kelowna to pick up the vanities for the bathrooms and a bifold door - I had to find a used, solid core door that I could cut because my contractor screwed up my rough opening, making it to small fr the bifold doors I already had - and they could not be cut because they are hollow. You gotta love Facebook Marketplace - lots of used things to buy for good prices. The door was free and I even got a good quality dishwasher for $50.

On Sunday the drywall guy will finish and then Stephane and I have only three days to paint the entire basement (walls and ceilings) and build an entire kitchen worth of cabinets. I do not know how I will manage - but I must as our guy from Calgary arrives on Wednesday to complete the reno. I used to be able to paint all day and into the night without taking a break. I remember once when I was 7.5 months pregnant I got up in the morning, got the kids off to school, popped off all the baseboards, pushed back all the furniture, painted the entire house, put the baseboards and furniture back all before the kids got home from school. Those were the good old days.

Now I drag my ass out of bed at 7, after being awake half the night ruminating about hood fans, drink two coffee, work all day at whatever it is I am working on that day, and by 2pm I feel like I have hit a brick wall. It is all I can do to scrape up enough energy to cook - in fact, most of the time I don't and Steph does it. Neither one of us is sleeping well - and it is taking its toll. We are trying hard to keep the mess out of our main living space, and maintain some semblance of order and calm - but it is near impossible. The mess is stressful, as is being weeks behind schedule, and operating on a few hours of sleep each night compounds it all.

Renovating houses is certainly less fun than it used to be. I LOVE the design part, and I love sourcing and buying materials although that part really stresses Stephane out. We have spent in excess of $40,000 in the past couple of weeks, and when he sees the money flying out the door without any visible progress he gets heart palpitations. I am not worried about the money. It is a cost of sales - so to speak. It is money I have to spend to make money. For me it is the hard physical work that seems so much harder than it used to. Moving drywall, shoveling gravel, carrying wood, climbing ladders, painting walls - I just don't seem to have the capacity to do as much, and each morning when I wake up I hurt all over and have to slide in to a hot bath before I can even bend enough to get dressed! When this reno is all over there will be joyous relief and some serious contemplation as to whether or not we will ever do this again.

Working to Distraction

When things go wrong now, I just giggle. We have had so many mishaps with this reno that I now find it kind of funny. Last week I wrote about my encounter with the Home Depot people...well not two minutes after I got off the phone with them – resolving the missing $2000 U.S. dollar issue - I got a call from Wayfair. The conversation went something like this:

“Hello, Mrs. Adolph, my name is Lilly and I am your Wayfair case manager.”
“Really? I have a case manager?”
“Well, yes, you see, we seem to have lost your bathtub.”
(Now before you think - go buy another one, they are a dime a dozen at Home Depot and you have a $2000 U.S. gift card! – you must know I bought a very special, very expensive pedestal tub that has its drain in a weird place…and the plumber has already plumbed the drain into the ceiling downstairs which has now been drywalled and mudded, so there is likely not another tub that will fit exactly, and I do not want to rip up my newly laid floor.)
“What do you mean you lost my bathtub?”
“We do not know where it is, er, it seems to have disappeared from our system. I am here to help you find another suitable tub.”
“Oh, well, I have already looked at 16,452 bathtubs on your website and this was the only one I liked. Can’t you send me another one?
“Well, that was the last one. We can refund you the $600 right away.”
“My tub was $1600 – not $600.”
“Are you sure? It says right here, skirted 30 inch Phoenix…$600.”
“Oh THAT tub! I already got THAT tub. It is installed in my basement!”
“Oh.”
“I am waiting for the Mandalay tub to arrive.”
“Oh, well, I have already refunded you the $600. Hmmmm. Well, you seem like an honest person, don’t spend the $600, and in a month I will take it back, after you receive the other tub.”

The conversation was elongated and a little weirder, but you get the point.

The next day, our dear friend Rod came to help us pull out some trees with his truck. (We are so lucky to have so many good friends here!). We needed to move them because they are where we will be building a new deck. When the roots of the tree came up, they brought with it the irrigation system, so now we have to redo that. Well, if I have to dig up the yard to redo the irritation system (that is what we call it), then I might as well do some xeriscaping and landscaping. More money - more work.

I fired my contractor on Friday so I have some time before the guy from Calgary arrives, so I might as well do some yard work! How could I not giggle at all this?

So today the bobcat showed up and yanked out the remaining 6 cedar trees, and leveled the area a bit so I could get to work moving dirt, laying landscaping fabric, and designing a new low water front yard.

As I mentioned last week, one thing seems to lead to another in this “money pit” of a house, and I have lost all hope of a) staying anywhere close to my $90,000 budget, and b) going south on October 12. I refuse to cancel my flights or accommodations until the last minute because I just MIGHT make it, and I would be terribly disappointed if I pulled off this miracle and then had nowhere to go!

On a very positive note, the smoke has cleared away and the endless blue skies are back and it has warmed up significantly. Perfect weather for digging and raking!

This past week we had two very special social events to celebrate the life of our friend Gidd. On Sunday about 40 of us gathered outdoors to eat, drink, and at 4:20 “toke” – for Gidd was a pot smoker, and it had to be done in his honour!

I did not indulge – as I prefer to have control of all my faculties, but I took some great photos! Tonight we will go to yet another gather – in our old backyard! The people we sold our house to are part of our Oliver gang now, and we are all getting together to have burgers and beer.

Losing a dear friend last week has made us all evaluate our priorities. Could I be next? Might I wake up next week to find my dear husband has died in his sleep? How terribly shocking it must be for my friend to lose her spouse this way. In a way, it is a blessing for he did not suffer, but for my girlfriend, she has had no time to prepare for such a loss.

Some say you can never prepare for the loss of a loved one – but I do not agree. When my grandma had cancer, she “hung on” for two years and suffered, and by the time she died we were all “grieved out.” We were glad she died – finally she was out of her misery! A sudden death is unexpected, and those left behind are left numb and in shock.

Talking about death may seem morbid, but at our age, it is important to think about it – at least a bit. Are you prepared for an unexpected loss? Have you a will? Do you know where all your spouse’s important papers are? What are their wishes? I have done all of this – I am always uber prepared for everything, so of course I have already filed away step by step instructions for my kids and partner should I experience a sudden and untimely demise. Morbid? Maybe, but I just think it prudent.

This afternoon I was on my way to the landscaping material place just outside of town. In my reverie, I drove right by it. I turned around, and headed back, and believe it or not, I drove right past it again! I feel like my brain is so full it will explode! I am so busy that I spend every moment rerunning lists in my head. Distracted driving. Very dangerous. They should outlaw renovating!

Are We Having Fun Yet?

The last couple of months have caused me to pause and think hard about what I value in life. The last month we were in Utila, a good friend was diagnosed with cancer. It was shocking and unexpected, and made me realize how precarious our time on earth is. A month later, while in Ajijic, the woman we were house sitting for was also diagnosed with cancer. And then, after being home only a month, a fellow musician and friend died suddenly in his sleep.

Life is short, and when we lose people we love, or when we see people struggle with potentially deadly illnesses, it makes us sit up and think about how we spend our time. I felt so sad the morning after my friend died. I felt sad for his wife of many years - how empty her life must feel right now. I felt sad for all of us who gather biweekly to play and hear music, for we have lost a friend and a talent that we all so enjoyed. I felt sad for Steph and I - for how many moments we have wasted arguing over this stupid house.

The skies here are dark and grey and have been for weeks due to over 500 forest fires burning all around us. It looks like winter as ash falls from the sky like snow. The dark gloom matches my mood.


I have been working hard for weeks insulating, patching concrete, and cleaning up endless piles of debris, and Stephane has been busy keeping our upstairs "nest" clean. He cooks meals, buys groceries and is handling everything that I just do not have time for right now.

I broke down this week and called my old contractor in Calgary. We have renovated a number of houses together and I so appreciate how fast and how hard he works. He arrives on September 17th to try to help us get this reno completed in time for us to go south on October 12. On September 4 a drywall guy is coming to fix the mess my current guy has made, and then by the end of that week it will be my turn to put in the long days: I will have to prime and paint the entire basement, and put together all the kitchen cabinets. Once Jonathan gets here from Calgary he will hang the cabinets, install the counters, tile the kitchen and bathroom, finish the outside of the new windows, and then move upstairs to build the new ensuite upstairs while the flooring guys install the planking and carpet down. During that time I will be painting baseboards which I hope he can install before he leaves on Sept 28th. After that, we will be ready to put snowbirds in here up and down for the winter.

Having short term renters every winter when we go south is key to our two star retirement plan...it totally offsets our expenses down south. Last year was a shit show, and although we had some good rent coming in at times, it never came close to offsetting the money we had to unexpectedly put into the place after the first tenants trashed the place. By sticking to short term renters of our own age - homeowners from another part of Canada where winters are colder than here - we hope to avoid any tenant issues. Snowbirds often pay their rent in full, in advance, and because they are homeowners themselves, they treat your home with respect.

My goal is to complete the outside of the house upon return from Mexico at the end of March. We have a significant job to do in the backyard, which needs to be terraced to make room for the pool - which we need so we can do vacation rental next summer - also a big part of our retirement plan. In Oliver, there is always a shortage of accommodations, so vacation rentals are in high demand, and that will yield significantly more rent than long term tenants.

Now before you give me the lecture on "that's why there is an affordable housing shortage" please remember I tried the long term renter route - offering my home to two young men with a dog. I knew they would have a tough time finding a place, and I felt responsible. They not only stopped paying rent after the first month, but they trashed my house costing me over $15,000. Then the second long term tenant fled without paying her last month rent and when I got home I found her cat had poked holes all over my designer leather couch! So it is no wonder why people hold out for vacation renters...they are generally respectful, they pay more, in advance, and the law does not allow them to stay in your home and trash it while not paying rent. So I say, if people are concerned about an affordable housing crisis, maybe they should lobby policy makers to make changes to the Landlord/Tenant Act that currently favours bad tenants.

I know I sound cynical - I am so very tired, and more than a little crabby. Steph and I both continue to not sleep well, and the minor and major problems around here continue to plague me. Stupid stuff that makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Like yesterday: I finally decided on what stove I want for the upstairs. High end appliances are "in" right now - especially professional ranges, so finding one that is affordable has not been easy. I finally found one but it was only available through Home Depot online in the U.S. Unfortunately when I tried to buy it online, they do not accept Canadian credit cards. I had to drive all the way to Omak, Washington yesterday to buy $3000 worth of Home depot gift cards, and then come back and use the gift cards to make the online purchase. Unfortunately when I did, that particular stove did not qualify for the free shipping to my U.S. address in Oroville, Washington so the total amount in my "shopping cart" came to - get this - $4.38 MORE THAN WHAT I LOADED ON THE GIFT CARD! So I had to make the decision to either drive down there again for five freaking dollars, or pick a new stove with free delivery. So, I picked a new stove (actually a better quality - just less pretty), but when I tried to make the purchase, a sign came up saying "call your local store." So I did, and he was very helpful, however, when we got to the gift card part, it turns out that $2000 dollars on one of the cards is NOT THERE!! So this morning I had to call another number and try to find out where my $2000 went. To make a very long story short, I spent two hours on the phone and still have no stove and have to drive back to Washington tomorrow.

Good times.

It's About Time

Time is something that plays a huge role in all of our lives. “I have no time,” “I am running out of time,” “what time is it, anyway?” Before launching into a conversation we often say, “do you have a minute?” as though time can somehow be owned. Time has been referred to as an illusion. It is elusive, and it is perceived differently by everyone.

In my thirties I was a successful business woman, always on the run, always in a hurry. I had an assistant who had to remind me to pee. At the time (there's that word again) I was under the illusion that the busier I was, the better I was. I often felt annoyed at people who wasted my time – "my time" - as though I alone owned it and there were rules as to how it should be used. Can we even “use” time? Anyway, those who showed up really late to appointments were often new Canadians. I would mutter to myself that they had no respect.

After spending extended periods of time in Africa and India however, I began to understand: In the developing world most people are too poor to own watches or clocks. Without clocks, time has no meaning. If someone in rural India or Africa says they will come and see you at 2pm tomorrow…what they mean is, tomorrow I will go to the bus station and catch a rickety old bus that will not leave the station until it is full. Then, when it leaves the station three hours later, I will hope that it does not break down, as it often does. If I arrive at your house before supper, that would be a victory! Making an appointment for a specific time just cannot be done in many places, and it would in fact be completely unreasonable. Outside the resorts, no one is in a hurry in the developing world. After three trips around the world, and extended stays in many developing nations, I am finally learning to not be in such a hurry. I have learned to accept delays, go with the flow, and be flexible - all things tremendously important when renovating a house.

We are a full month into our renovation and have not yet finished framing and wiring. My contractor, who promised me every other week, does not seem to know the concept of a full work week. Week one he worked 28 hours, and then he was gone for a week. Week two he was here less than two days and now he is gone again for a week. Needless to say, we are way behind schedule.

Stephane and I were talking the other day about how we felt to be back home, and I said to him that since we have been home, with the exception of a few visits with friends, our entire time has been spent on the buying, building, cleaning, and maintaining of "things". There is no time for experiences outside of buying, building, cleaning... That is the reality of ownership. We work hard, often at jobs we do not like, so we can... buy, build, clean, and maintain ever more things. That’s not to say I regret home or car ownership – these things are luxuries for which I am grateful, however, as I get older, I see some futility in the endless hamster wheel run of buying, building...

As I write this - I am having another sleepless night. It is 4 am - an ungodly hour to be up - and I am missing the strange world where it took us two hours to buy lettuce. The places where we had time to just “be.” Where listening to the waves was a legitimate past time.

Working for Freedom

Renovating a house is always very stressful. Issues with contractors is one stressor. I used to have a guy in Calgary that was so good, he has tarnished my expectations of others. Here in B.C. you cannot be too picky because it is slim pickings. Most people that come here come here to retire – so they do not want to work. And because no one wants to work, those who do, have too much work. The thing I hate the most though is that most of the guys I hire smoke. I don’t care about the smoking itself – but I do care that they smoke on my dime. To them, having a quick smoke break is no big deal, but a 5 minute smoke break costs me thousands! Let me explain: I pay my contractor $95/hour. So five minutes costs me $7.92. He takes 6 smoke breaks a day, so that costs me $47.50 a day, or $237.50 a week! Times that by a few months, and you get my point.

Another stressor is the noise: all day long we hear the constant din of banging and sawing. Speaking of noise, after our trip and analyzing various locations for noise, I came home to sounds I did not know existed here. Our first morning here I laid in bed listening to the sounds of morning. It started with the doves and quail hoo – hooting, then the slow din of cars on the distant highway, working their way into town. Then at night while going to sleep I hear a true symphony of crickets. I didn’t know we had crickets here! They are just as loud as the ones in Bucerias! Anyway, these are noises that do not bother me; it just took some time to get used to.

Renovations always bring surprises and this house has been no exception. I had budgeted $15000 for the basement, but we will end up spending three times that. Our first surprise was finding a cut, live wire in the ceiling. That meant we had to rip down the entire ceiling to see if there were others – and there were! Then after ripping out some drywall to make room for new wiring, we found some mold and water damage on an exterior wall below an old window. That means we have to rip out the window to replace the rotten 2 x 6, so THAT means, I have to replace all the windows so they match. Truthfully they needed to be done anyway. But now, the exterior needs to be done because there was no way to find a window of the same size, and so now we have to redo the stucco or patch and paint the house. Then, after framing in and wiring the new bathroom, we realized we had no heat in there, so that got me analyzing my heating system here and calculating my R factor...that led to redoing all the exterior insulation. And electricity is SO expensive here, I have to change the furnace to gas so I can afford the bills…

You get the picture.

The most stressful part about renovating for me though, is the constant fight I have to be respected for my knowledge and experience. It is a man’s world and there are few women who act as general contractors. Being in charge of a bunch of testosterone filled men who all hate being told what to do by a woman is very annoying. And that includes my husband; renovating is hard on his ego. My husband is a wonderful guy and he was a really good salesperson. He had a great career and seldom complained about his work. But he is not a fan of hard labour – and that is what I have him doing now. Demolition – ripping down walls. Look at what he has pulled out of the basement!



What keeps us going is the knowledge that when this is all over we will be able to head back on the road for some fun and sun. Until then, we will plug along. Working for a couple of months so we can have the freedom to not work for the rest of the year is worth it. I think.

From Perpetual Saturdays to Everyday is Work Day

Coming home after nine months of travel has been a mixed bag of happy and sad events, stress and relief, and hard work. We arrived home to three foot tall weeds in our front yard, a front door covered in cobwebs, and grass in the back as high as an elephant’s eye (Rodgers and Hammerstein fans??)!

We have now been home one week and have knocked out walls and ceilings in the basement to expose the plumbing under the bathroom upstairs. But instead of fixing the leaky shower, we have decided renovating the basement suite was our priority because it will provide a source of income right away. Unfortunately, there is a bit of a housing boom going on here right now so it is hard to get contractors – so what we might have accomplished in the two months we planned on being home, will likely take us the better part of the fall to complete. Needless to say, we have decided to cancel our winter accommodations down south and work hard to get the suite ready for next summer’s vacation rental season.

Renovating is stressful, and stress is hard on relationships. We have come off a nine month high of tropical bliss and no responsibility to working 10 hour days dragging construction materials up and down stairs. The older I get the harder this gets – something to think about moving forward…

It is three o’clock in the morning as I write this. I awoke after an hour of sleep with the horrifying thought that I had screwed something up with my basement reno plan – and the contractor arrives at eight tomorrow. So, out of bed I got and down into the basement to re-measure and sort through another mind-bending problem. I sorted it out, and in fact, came up with a superior plan that will actually save me time and money, however, now two hours later and I cannot sleep.

Sleep has evaded us both since coming home. My mind is on renovation challenges and design details, and Steph’s is on Utila. He misses his beach and the sound of the waves. He is a bit depressed. Real-life has slapped him in the face and it is certainly not as relaxing and fun as “every day is Saturday!” Now, every day is hard work day, and he does not seem too happy about it.

We are also both going through a bit of sticker shock. Things as so expensive here! We went to buy groceries for just two days of meals and the bill was over $100…a week’s worth of groceries in Mexico. Within three days of being home we have had to insure and register the car, get gas, buy groceries, pay utilities, buy a phone plan, hook up the internet, buy garden tools, a clothes rack, etc., etc. We have spent more than in the past two months. Stephane is wishing we could just sell all and go back south, so I had to remind him that our house went up significantly in value while we were snorkeling and gallivanting around Central America so our net worth actually went up – despite having limited income and a few major expenses. Not to mention this house will be a source of income for us, so selling it is probably not the best idea – at least not yet. I still have to complete phase one (the basement suite), phase two (the yard and pool), phase three (the upstairs kitchen and bathrooms), and phase four (the exterior and windows)…

…and while my head swims with the details of it all, Steph is swimming in his head in the warm waters of a not long forgotten tropical paradise listening to the sound of waves on a white noise machine.