Are We Having Fun Yet?

The last couple of months have caused me to pause and think hard about what I value in life. The last month we were in Utila, a good friend was diagnosed with cancer. It was shocking and unexpected, and made me realize how precarious our time on earth is. A month later, while in Ajijic, the woman we were house sitting for was also diagnosed with cancer. And then, after being home only a month, a fellow musician and friend died suddenly in his sleep.

Life is short, and when we lose people we love, or when we see people struggle with potentially deadly illnesses, it makes us sit up and think about how we spend our time. I felt so sad the morning after my friend died. I felt sad for his wife of many years - how empty her life must feel right now. I felt sad for all of us who gather biweekly to play and hear music, for we have lost a friend and a talent that we all so enjoyed. I felt sad for Steph and I - for how many moments we have wasted arguing over this stupid house.

The skies here are dark and grey and have been for weeks due to over 500 forest fires burning all around us. It looks like winter as ash falls from the sky like snow. The dark gloom matches my mood.


I have been working hard for weeks insulating, patching concrete, and cleaning up endless piles of debris, and Stephane has been busy keeping our upstairs "nest" clean. He cooks meals, buys groceries and is handling everything that I just do not have time for right now.

I broke down this week and called my old contractor in Calgary. We have renovated a number of houses together and I so appreciate how fast and how hard he works. He arrives on September 17th to try to help us get this reno completed in time for us to go south on October 12. On September 4 a drywall guy is coming to fix the mess my current guy has made, and then by the end of that week it will be my turn to put in the long days: I will have to prime and paint the entire basement, and put together all the kitchen cabinets. Once Jonathan gets here from Calgary he will hang the cabinets, install the counters, tile the kitchen and bathroom, finish the outside of the new windows, and then move upstairs to build the new ensuite upstairs while the flooring guys install the planking and carpet down. During that time I will be painting baseboards which I hope he can install before he leaves on Sept 28th. After that, we will be ready to put snowbirds in here up and down for the winter.

Having short term renters every winter when we go south is key to our two star retirement plan...it totally offsets our expenses down south. Last year was a shit show, and although we had some good rent coming in at times, it never came close to offsetting the money we had to unexpectedly put into the place after the first tenants trashed the place. By sticking to short term renters of our own age - homeowners from another part of Canada where winters are colder than here - we hope to avoid any tenant issues. Snowbirds often pay their rent in full, in advance, and because they are homeowners themselves, they treat your home with respect.

My goal is to complete the outside of the house upon return from Mexico at the end of March. We have a significant job to do in the backyard, which needs to be terraced to make room for the pool - which we need so we can do vacation rental next summer - also a big part of our retirement plan. In Oliver, there is always a shortage of accommodations, so vacation rentals are in high demand, and that will yield significantly more rent than long term tenants.

Now before you give me the lecture on "that's why there is an affordable housing shortage" please remember I tried the long term renter route - offering my home to two young men with a dog. I knew they would have a tough time finding a place, and I felt responsible. They not only stopped paying rent after the first month, but they trashed my house costing me over $15,000. Then the second long term tenant fled without paying her last month rent and when I got home I found her cat had poked holes all over my designer leather couch! So it is no wonder why people hold out for vacation renters...they are generally respectful, they pay more, in advance, and the law does not allow them to stay in your home and trash it while not paying rent. So I say, if people are concerned about an affordable housing crisis, maybe they should lobby policy makers to make changes to the Landlord/Tenant Act that currently favours bad tenants.

I know I sound cynical - I am so very tired, and more than a little crabby. Steph and I both continue to not sleep well, and the minor and major problems around here continue to plague me. Stupid stuff that makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Like yesterday: I finally decided on what stove I want for the upstairs. High end appliances are "in" right now - especially professional ranges, so finding one that is affordable has not been easy. I finally found one but it was only available through Home Depot online in the U.S. Unfortunately when I tried to buy it online, they do not accept Canadian credit cards. I had to drive all the way to Omak, Washington yesterday to buy $3000 worth of Home depot gift cards, and then come back and use the gift cards to make the online purchase. Unfortunately when I did, that particular stove did not qualify for the free shipping to my U.S. address in Oroville, Washington so the total amount in my "shopping cart" came to - get this - $4.38 MORE THAN WHAT I LOADED ON THE GIFT CARD! So I had to make the decision to either drive down there again for five freaking dollars, or pick a new stove with free delivery. So, I picked a new stove (actually a better quality - just less pretty), but when I tried to make the purchase, a sign came up saying "call your local store." So I did, and he was very helpful, however, when we got to the gift card part, it turns out that $2000 dollars on one of the cards is NOT THERE!! So this morning I had to call another number and try to find out where my $2000 went. To make a very long story short, I spent two hours on the phone and still have no stove and have to drive back to Washington tomorrow.

Good times.

It's About Time

Time is something that plays a huge role in all of our lives. “I have no time,” “I am running out of time,” “what time is it, anyway?” Before launching into a conversation we often say, “do you have a minute?” as though time can somehow be owned. Time has been referred to as an illusion. It is elusive, and it is perceived differently by everyone.

In my thirties I was a successful business woman, always on the run, always in a hurry. I had an assistant who had to remind me to pee. At the time (there's that word again) I was under the illusion that the busier I was, the better I was. I often felt annoyed at people who wasted my time – "my time" - as though I alone owned it and there were rules as to how it should be used. Can we even “use” time? Anyway, those who showed up really late to appointments were often new Canadians. I would mutter to myself that they had no respect.

After spending extended periods of time in Africa and India however, I began to understand: In the developing world most people are too poor to own watches or clocks. Without clocks, time has no meaning. If someone in rural India or Africa says they will come and see you at 2pm tomorrow…what they mean is, tomorrow I will go to the bus station and catch a rickety old bus that will not leave the station until it is full. Then, when it leaves the station three hours later, I will hope that it does not break down, as it often does. If I arrive at your house before supper, that would be a victory! Making an appointment for a specific time just cannot be done in many places, and it would in fact be completely unreasonable. Outside the resorts, no one is in a hurry in the developing world. After three trips around the world, and extended stays in many developing nations, I am finally learning to not be in such a hurry. I have learned to accept delays, go with the flow, and be flexible - all things tremendously important when renovating a house.

We are a full month into our renovation and have not yet finished framing and wiring. My contractor, who promised me every other week, does not seem to know the concept of a full work week. Week one he worked 28 hours, and then he was gone for a week. Week two he was here less than two days and now he is gone again for a week. Needless to say, we are way behind schedule.

Stephane and I were talking the other day about how we felt to be back home, and I said to him that since we have been home, with the exception of a few visits with friends, our entire time has been spent on the buying, building, cleaning, and maintaining of "things". There is no time for experiences outside of buying, building, cleaning... That is the reality of ownership. We work hard, often at jobs we do not like, so we can... buy, build, clean, and maintain ever more things. That’s not to say I regret home or car ownership – these things are luxuries for which I am grateful, however, as I get older, I see some futility in the endless hamster wheel run of buying, building...

As I write this - I am having another sleepless night. It is 4 am - an ungodly hour to be up - and I am missing the strange world where it took us two hours to buy lettuce. The places where we had time to just “be.” Where listening to the waves was a legitimate past time.

Working for Freedom

Renovating a house is always very stressful. Issues with contractors is one stressor. I used to have a guy in Calgary that was so good, he has tarnished my expectations of others. Here in B.C. you cannot be too picky because it is slim pickings. Most people that come here come here to retire – so they do not want to work. And because no one wants to work, those who do, have too much work. The thing I hate the most though is that most of the guys I hire smoke. I don’t care about the smoking itself – but I do care that they smoke on my dime. To them, having a quick smoke break is no big deal, but a 5 minute smoke break costs me thousands! Let me explain: I pay my contractor $95/hour. So five minutes costs me $7.92. He takes 6 smoke breaks a day, so that costs me $47.50 a day, or $237.50 a week! Times that by a few months, and you get my point.

Another stressor is the noise: all day long we hear the constant din of banging and sawing. Speaking of noise, after our trip and analyzing various locations for noise, I came home to sounds I did not know existed here. Our first morning here I laid in bed listening to the sounds of morning. It started with the doves and quail hoo – hooting, then the slow din of cars on the distant highway, working their way into town. Then at night while going to sleep I hear a true symphony of crickets. I didn’t know we had crickets here! They are just as loud as the ones in Bucerias! Anyway, these are noises that do not bother me; it just took some time to get used to.

Renovations always bring surprises and this house has been no exception. I had budgeted $15000 for the basement, but we will end up spending three times that. Our first surprise was finding a cut, live wire in the ceiling. That meant we had to rip down the entire ceiling to see if there were others – and there were! Then after ripping out some drywall to make room for new wiring, we found some mold and water damage on an exterior wall below an old window. That means we have to rip out the window to replace the rotten 2 x 6, so THAT means, I have to replace all the windows so they match. Truthfully they needed to be done anyway. But now, the exterior needs to be done because there was no way to find a window of the same size, and so now we have to redo the stucco or patch and paint the house. Then, after framing in and wiring the new bathroom, we realized we had no heat in there, so that got me analyzing my heating system here and calculating my R factor...that led to redoing all the exterior insulation. And electricity is SO expensive here, I have to change the furnace to gas so I can afford the bills…

You get the picture.

The most stressful part about renovating for me though, is the constant fight I have to be respected for my knowledge and experience. It is a man’s world and there are few women who act as general contractors. Being in charge of a bunch of testosterone filled men who all hate being told what to do by a woman is very annoying. And that includes my husband; renovating is hard on his ego. My husband is a wonderful guy and he was a really good salesperson. He had a great career and seldom complained about his work. But he is not a fan of hard labour – and that is what I have him doing now. Demolition – ripping down walls. Look at what he has pulled out of the basement!



What keeps us going is the knowledge that when this is all over we will be able to head back on the road for some fun and sun. Until then, we will plug along. Working for a couple of months so we can have the freedom to not work for the rest of the year is worth it. I think.

From Perpetual Saturdays to Everyday is Work Day

Coming home after nine months of travel has been a mixed bag of happy and sad events, stress and relief, and hard work. We arrived home to three foot tall weeds in our front yard, a front door covered in cobwebs, and grass in the back as high as an elephant’s eye (Rodgers and Hammerstein fans??)!

We have now been home one week and have knocked out walls and ceilings in the basement to expose the plumbing under the bathroom upstairs. But instead of fixing the leaky shower, we have decided renovating the basement suite was our priority because it will provide a source of income right away. Unfortunately, there is a bit of a housing boom going on here right now so it is hard to get contractors – so what we might have accomplished in the two months we planned on being home, will likely take us the better part of the fall to complete. Needless to say, we have decided to cancel our winter accommodations down south and work hard to get the suite ready for next summer’s vacation rental season.

Renovating is stressful, and stress is hard on relationships. We have come off a nine month high of tropical bliss and no responsibility to working 10 hour days dragging construction materials up and down stairs. The older I get the harder this gets – something to think about moving forward…

It is three o’clock in the morning as I write this. I awoke after an hour of sleep with the horrifying thought that I had screwed something up with my basement reno plan – and the contractor arrives at eight tomorrow. So, out of bed I got and down into the basement to re-measure and sort through another mind-bending problem. I sorted it out, and in fact, came up with a superior plan that will actually save me time and money, however, now two hours later and I cannot sleep.

Sleep has evaded us both since coming home. My mind is on renovation challenges and design details, and Steph’s is on Utila. He misses his beach and the sound of the waves. He is a bit depressed. Real-life has slapped him in the face and it is certainly not as relaxing and fun as “every day is Saturday!” Now, every day is hard work day, and he does not seem too happy about it.

We are also both going through a bit of sticker shock. Things as so expensive here! We went to buy groceries for just two days of meals and the bill was over $100…a week’s worth of groceries in Mexico. Within three days of being home we have had to insure and register the car, get gas, buy groceries, pay utilities, buy a phone plan, hook up the internet, buy garden tools, a clothes rack, etc., etc. We have spent more than in the past two months. Stephane is wishing we could just sell all and go back south, so I had to remind him that our house went up significantly in value while we were snorkeling and gallivanting around Central America so our net worth actually went up – despite having limited income and a few major expenses. Not to mention this house will be a source of income for us, so selling it is probably not the best idea – at least not yet. I still have to complete phase one (the basement suite), phase two (the yard and pool), phase three (the upstairs kitchen and bathrooms), and phase four (the exterior and windows)…

…and while my head swims with the details of it all, Steph is swimming in his head in the warm waters of a not long forgotten tropical paradise listening to the sound of waves on a white noise machine.

Where is home?

We head home tomorrow with mixed feelings. On the one hand we are excited to see our family and friends, and on the other, we wonder if “home” will still feel like home. We have never lived in the house we are going back to. For us it holds no memories, and until it is renovated, it won’t really feel like ours, and it will never enjoy a view as beautiful as the one we had in Conchas Chinas.

When I came home from my first trip around the world, I got a bit depressed. It is a common thing after long periods of travel – particularly in the developing world. At the time, upon coming home, I saw such a drastic difference culturally in how people treat each other. I had been in Africa and India for extended periods of time, and had experienced genuine care and hospitality. When people there asked how I was, I felt like they genuinely wanted to know. In the developing world people are not in a hurry. They have time for you. Hospitality is about sharing and caring - it is not a competition. It felt different when I came home. People were busy with their lives, and the pace of life was so fast compared to where I had been that in a way I felt left behind.

I do not expect that response upon returning this time. The culture shock of coming home is not new to me, and in fact, this time it is almost the opposite. For 9 months we have lived with wonderful tropical weather, pools and beautiful beaches, lovely homes and gorgeous vistas, and I am going home to a dated 1980's house with mint green paint and no pool. Ick.

We will have two months before we leave again, so we will use that time to fix the shower that leaked while we were gone, and prune the trees, try to revive the dead grass, and get some gardens ready for next spring. We have house sitters coming the end of September when we will head back to Mexico for one last hurrah before getting serious about renovating the house and making it our own.

Often on this trip, as we were walking down the the pristine white sand beach of Utila, or on the cobblestone streets in Ajijic or Conchas Chinas, drinking in the luscious views around us, we caught ourselves musing about just selling our properties back home and moving down here. I wonder, will we feel that way once we get home? Will we really BE home? Is home where you own property? Or is home where you have friends? Is home where your children live and where you can eat and cook together with them?

I don’t know the answer to that question anymore.

Our kids live in three different provinces. My first grand baby probably won’t even speak English. I saw more of some of my Oliver friends in Mexico this winter than I did the preceding summer in Oliver. Where is home?

They say Home is Where the Heart is: but for us, that seems to change from moment to moment.

Variables

Back in my very first blog post in October, I talked about my handy dandy spreadsheet for retirement. You can check out that post here. Well this past week I decided to go back and take a look at it, and lo and behold, I found a mistake! Not a huge one – but one big enough to seriously impact my quality of living between the ages of 80-90. I have been giving this a lot of thought, and realize it is incredibly difficult to plan for those years. I suppose that is why so many people try to save so much more than they really need – just in case.

I do not buy in to the "just in case" philosophy though. There are just SO MANY variables. For example, the picture in those later years looks fine IF my RRSPs return 7% a year (the S&P 500's historical average adjusted for inflation) over the next 20 years. BUT, if the markets only return 4% a year on average (the number I used in my planning), my RRSP will only grow by $134000 between now and when I turn 71, versus growing by $225,000. That is a big difference – especially when you consider that $225,000 will continue to grow from ages 71 – 90.

Then there is the price of houses. We have two homes, and my spreadsheet is counting on a 4% increase in house prices per year (not including gain from renovations). That is a realistic number to use too – because that is the overall historical average of Canadian housing over the past 100 years. On the other hand, I am real good at real estate and know better than the average person when and what to buy, what to do to optimize gain, and when to sell. So, I may be just fine between 80-90.

Another huge variable – maybe the biggest at this point in our two star retirement – is how much we spend each year. Since neither of us have a pension, anything we spend right now that is not offset by rental income, comes right out of our savings. That means if I spend $50,000 this year (which it looks like I will), that is $50,000 that is not growing at 4% a year (which is what I used) to $76963 between now and when I turn 71 and have to start drawing down my RRSPs. In other words, my future net worth goes down by not just $50K a year, but by $77K a year. Yikes. And I haven't even taken that trip to South Africa yet!

Spending is what got me looking at the spreadsheet again. You see, when we left, we had about $2500/month in rental income, and we were only spending about $3000 month, so we were only drawing down about $6000 a year. Then we had issues with tenants not paying, and then the water issues (read about those here and here) and right now our house sits empty, bringing in no income. That means we have been drawing down far more than planned this year. For now, all this means is that IF we want to go south in the winter and not have tenants, we will need to offset that loss of income with some other form of part time income in the summer.

Fortunately all the retirees in Oliver have plenty of opportunities to work in wineries. Pouring wine is a real fun job – I did it the first two years we lived there. I actually made pretty good money. Although the wage was only $15 hour, you get sales incentives too. Turns out I was good at selling wine, so I averaged $50 an hour – AND, I got a 25% discount on all the wine I bought (which was a lot), so for me, taking a part time job doing that again is no hardship.

Backing up, one good year in the housing or stock market, and the rental shortfall this year is inconsequential.

Variables.Variables. Variables.

The point is, none of us can know for sure how much we need, when we will die, or what extenuating circumstances will befall us. All we can do is stick to a plan that makes sense, adjust as necessary, and don’t sweat it. Life is too short to worry about my income when I am ninety. I worked hard, saved money, and I have a plan. Now is the time to enjoy life. I am not willing to give up this adventure for some kind of false guarantee I will be fine in 40 years. Chances are I will be dead in 40 years and if I am not - well then, what a blessing to still be around to spend time with my grandchildren's children! I have three wonderful sons, who I am certain will care for me as I have cared for them. There are no guarantees in life. I will always choose grand experiences over money in the bank.

When the Good Outweighs the Bad

One of the things I love the most about Mexico is its wonderful people. Happy, friendly, and always respectful. People might drive crazy, but they always let you in, wave you forward, or flash their lights to allow you to pass. On more than one occasion I have seen a stalled vehicle stopping traffic, and instead of people sitting in their cars honking, they jump out and help push the car to the side.

People enjoy their community and talk to their neighbours. People greet you on the street. Even people who drive by you on the street will say "hola" out the car window. I also love the parks in Mexico - they are so well done. They have skateboard areas, children's playground, boardwalks, food stalls, water features, statues and public art, BBQ areas and tables and palapas for people to use, and outdoor exercise equipment. All this is free to use, and people come out - especially after work in the evenings and on Sundays, and really use the parks. They bring chairs and boom boxes and coolers of food, and spend hours in the parks. I love to walk the malecon and see all the hundreds of people - mostly families eating and playing together.

Another thing I adore is the great service you get everywhere. Whenever I go purchase a service or product, I feel like I am important, appreciated, and valued. I never get attitude from people like I might back home. People are patient and kind. Today we went to a Dentist because Stephane was having a toothache. We walked into a nearby dental office (without an appointment) and Stephane said, “I have a toothache and wondered if there was a time I could come in and see the Doctor this week?” “Just take a seat,” she said.

10 minutes later – ahead of the other two guests in the office – Steph was in the chair with the Dentist looking at his tooth. A minute or so after that, the Dentist handed Stephane a small raspberry seed that was stuck between his teeth. Sheepishly, Stephane thanked the Dentist and went to the desk to pay. “No," the senora said, "there is no charge.”

Seriously? A Dentist that is not just about money and that values care over commerce? What a concept to invest in future business by not being greedy? Wow. I love Mexico.

That said, one of the things I hate about Mexico - is the people's propensity to set off loud bombs in the middle of the night.

Hammer bombs are used by young men to celebrate – whenever there is an excuse to do so - a birthday party, wedding, or religious festival. They are basically homemade explosives taped onto the end of a sledgehammer which is then hammered down onto a piece of metal. This can throw the man doing the hammering feet into the air, and every year dozens and dozens of people are injured by flying shrapnel. Fun, eh?

Then there are the cohetes (a type of loud rocket) that have been used in Mexico forever to celebrate religious festivals. They begin around 5 a.m. and continue every 15 minutes to call people to Mass – a great way to ensure you do not go back to sleep. Anyone who is unaware of these traditions may visit and mistakenly think there is gunfire or bombs going off. Here is a short video to give you an idea of what these middle of the night bombs sound like

I have written before about the loudness of Mexico: the crickets, the chachalacas, the music, the stray dogs, the competing boom boxes, the karaoke, and the bombs. Add to this list now, thunder. I have never been to Mexico in the rainy season before. I always thought I liked thunder, but when it wakes you up every night, it is less appealing. Indeed, the noise is at times overwhelming. Utila was such an auditory respite from Mexico. Only the sound of the waves…(and maybe the sound of Stephanes earlobe flapping against the fan he had his face pushed up against most nights).

Speaking of waves, the woman who owns the house we are staying in has a white noise machine she encouraged us to use. It has a wave setting. We turn it on loud when we go to bed and it effectively blocks out the sound of the crickets, the birds, the dogs, the rain, and the music. We have been sleeping pretty well with it on. Unfortunately nothing can block the sound of the bombs and the thunder. They are just too earth shattering.